So I've been thinking 'bout ya ... you know you did a great thing
You made the choice to do more than just sing
Mr. Ocean, you have become an inspiration
To a community constantly bombarded with slurs and degradation
When too many gay youth live on the streets or in a grave
I just wanna thank you for doing something so brave
You didn't have to, your personal business is your own
But when you're gay, they expect you to make it known
So they can judge you, tell you that you need to be corrected
That you're not normal because you deviate from the expected
Heterosexist version of love
There's a reason they call it homophobia, they are scared of us
Scared of love
Scared of beautiful
Take away our rights just to spite our love
These glorified American weddings were never meant for the like of us
Like the sight of us is a love crime, but all we see is hate crimes
Imagine being afraid to walk home with your love on the late night
Wrong place, time just another statistic that will never see the front page
Too much hate got too many of us dying at a young age
Too much hate got too many of us being brutalized
Too much hate got too many of us committing suicide
Why can't we just live the sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet life?
...Because we're lost
Lost in a society that thinks gay is an insult
The worst thing you could possibly be
Uncomfortable with their sexuality
So they hide behind hypermasculinity
Can't even show love without adding the obligatory
"No homo"
But we didn't even bat an eye
When Nicki Minaj said she was bi
See girl-on-girl is fetishized
And boy-on-boy is demonized
Either way we're dehumanized
But last time I checked, we all had human eyes
A human mouth, a human heart
But we're lost
Lost in a bad religion that tells us we were born the wrong way
Or better yet tells us that we chose to be gay
And I ask you, who would choose this?
Conversion therapy and corrective rape
Who would choose this?
80 countries where you can be arrested for being gay
Who would choose this?
When LGBT homeless youth make up more than half
Who would choose this?
Picket our funerals with signs that read "God hates fags"
Who would choose this?
Would you choose this?
We are lost
Lost, but we all try
There will be tears, but we all cry
We all fight together
It gets better
Fuck tolerance, one day we'll achieve equality and acceptance
And never ever again will we ever feel like we're less than
Love any man that you want.. just make sure to love that man in the mirror
Love any woman that you want, girl.. just make sure to love that woman in the mirror
No one can tell you how to use your emotions
This is your life... this is your ocean
.. So swim good.. and swim good
I'm a poet. It's been this way for 8 years now. In those 8 years, I've written a lot of poems. A LOT. Here I will share some with you. I consider myself a spoken word artist, but Written Word is the next best thing.
Thank you for this!
ReplyDeleteYou said "a society that thinks gay is an insult
The worst thing you could possibly be.."
I think that between men - heteronormist, homophobic men - "gay" is a derivative insult, based on the real "worst thing you could possibly be" - female. (This is why gay women are celebrated while gay men are derided - the gay woman does something "manly", she's being "less female" when she chooses a female partner)
Bullies bully out of fear. They attack that which threatens them. In our society, men are told that their value and identity depends on whether or not OTHERS PERCEIVE them as men. No man can "be a man" unless his buddies agree, and, of course, sex-with-a-woman is a defining attribute. (When a man loses his virginity, he frequently SAYS "she made me a man". This is also why men brag about sexual exploits - they're literally begging their peers "I nailed this hottie, this makes me a man, right?").
When a man believes that his manhood is defined by the opinion of others, and dependent on affirmation through sex with women, his manhood is almost entirely out of his control. Vulnerable. He feels weak and powerless (though he dare not express these feelings to the guys..) and he often feels threatened by things which pose no real threat. The man who defines his manhood externally, ends up as a slave to his peer group - drinking when they drink, whistling when they whistle, pounding his chest when they do - he becomes part of a mutual demonstration of "manhood". But the irony is, he's actually demonstrating fear, weakness, insecurity, submission and dependence (FWIS&D) in his relationship with his peer group - and, subconsciously, HE KNOWS THIS!
Because "manhood" is supposed to be more like boldness, independence, confidence and defiance (BICD) than about FWIS&D, the externally-defined "man" (EDM) associates FWIS&D with gayness and femininity. The reason gayness and femininity are threatening to him, is that they remind him of his OWN FWIS&D, even as the non-conforming, non-peer-dependent gay man is demonstrating BICD. So, he feels compelled to demonstrate his "manhood" to his group by loudly denouncing, bullying, the gay man.
His attitude toward women is based largely on resentment - she has the power to "make him a man" (because he GAVE her that power) yet she "plays hard to get" and "pretends" she's not interested in sex. This is often written as an "expectation" of sex, but I see it more as desperation - his need to be validated in the way he and his buddies have been told is essential to their having any claim of a masculine identity.
I blame media - the networks and the advertisers. All of us live in a media environment saturated with messages that are based on insecurity. These messages have been well-documented with respect to women (body image, self-esteem, eating disorders, compulsive shopping). But, ads for men are based in insecurity too - the idea that "manhood" depends on impressing others, and having lots of beautiful women clamoring for sex (which they implicitly claim is possible if a man buys enough shiny crap). ALL advertising depends on insecurity, because the message "You're perfect, you don't need anything, but buy our shiny crap if you want to" doesn't sell much product.
Advertisers can't sell confidence, honesty, morality, fidelity, compassion, conscience or charity - the attributes of INTERNALLY defined masculinity AND femininity (funny how gender isn't any more relevant than hair color, to whether one is a good person). It is definitely in the advertisers interests to promote external definitions of value and identity, and I believe that the cumulative effect of decades of advertising has been to persuade large segments of the population that the (false) external definitions are the only ones that matter.
(Sorry this was sooo long...)